Hey Mister

​Hey Mister, the blog of Patrick Hosmer

Anatomy of a Kissy Face

It used to mean kisses (giving and/or receiving). 

Then it became Ben Stiller's joke. 

Then it became everyone's joke.

Then a weird thing happened. 

It stopped being a joke.

It became real. 

Celebrities made it more popular.

This influenced teenagers to do it. Recreationally at first. Then, compulsively.

Then it spread to even younger children. Some were born with it. 

It even infected certain wildlife.

The pandemic became visible in all channels of media. 

Coastal females evolved to use Kissy Face as a camouflage in large numbers.

Coastal males developed their own feminine Kissy Face tendencies to confuse their attackers. 

Some female tribes began to worship Kissy idols. 

Sometimes there are false positives; this man is merely chewing food.

In time, overuse renders the Kissy Face permanent, requiring surgical correction. 

Patrick Hosmer11 Comments