Art Direction, Motion Design & Illustration by Patrick Hosmer

NYU Cavity Search: "Found Something!"

Added on by Patrick Hosmer.

When you're living the fast and easy life of a semi-employed bum, it's always a little shocking to discover the lengths you'll go to get something for free. Sometimes you read entire magazines standing up in a bodega. Sometimes you put a whole thing of bread in your bag and ask the waiter to bring more. Sometimes you finish your roommate's dinner when he's in the bathroom.

And sometimes you wake up at the crack of dawn to meet a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend who is a 4th year dental student at NYU looking for people to volunteer their mouths for his final exam. One might call that experimental torture. One might call it masochism. One might call it free teeth-cleaning. 

In order to be eligible for the cleaning, I had to prove I actually had the minimum amount of required calculus so as to legitimately need it. He poked around inside my mouth, took seven x-rays and said:

"You're qualified-"

"Sweet."

"For a cavity procedure."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaat."

"I had to take seven x-rays to confirm it, but that little gray spot is the beginning of what the faculty and I believe to be a cavity."

"I don't see it."

"It's right there."

"... I've never had a cavity before."

"Your teeth have a strong resistance to decay. Did you have fluoride as a kid?"

"I'm so bummed."

"Part of my exam will be giving you a filling if you choose to move forward with this."

"I don't know..."

"It'll probably be the best procedure of my career considering I'll have the faculty observing and making sure everything is all done correctly." 

"Yeah. I still don't know. How much will it cost?"

"Actually, I'll be giving you $100 for the opportunity."

"Start drilling."

I'll give you my $100 drill free if you can spot the cavity in here.