Kanye West’s Nike Air Yeezy’s hit the street last Saturday [in 2009]. With people paying over $300 for a pair, the rest of the music community has been scrambling to put their own names on the latest footwear creations. Here’s a sneak peak.
Sensible. Fashionable. Parent-approved. The J-Threezy teaches the young active male what older siblings and dads never could: girls pay attention to your shoes. The Brothers Jonas know this. Get these and then invest in a keeping-away stick.
In honor of RHCP bassist Flea’s unflinching dedication to nudity, the Fleazy comes in the shape of a naked human foot. Now you too can be comfortable baring it all while simultaneously enjoying the comfort and protection of silicone rubber boot. Also good for Halloween, all you Tolkein fans.
This shoe is sort of irritating but somehow it’s still pretty cute.
This ain’t your daddy’s double XL orthopedic clog. It’s Rick Ross’. And yours. No givebacks. Reezy’s are great on your feet for when you’re getting your mail, walking to the kitchen for food, answering the door at 4AM when your roommate’s locked out… all kinds of radical sport-like activities. Available in men’s sizes 17 – 22.
Laces. Check. Velcro. Check. That party in Boulder where Lisa and Anthony drank that weird punch that made them barf all night, and you were super nervous because Jen was supposed to come and then she did come and she walks up to you and goes, “Hey,” and you’re like, “Hey,” and then she’s like “LET’S DANCE NOW,” and you guys did and had the best time until Anthony came back and punched you in the back of the head and passed out on that random girl’s fur coat. Check.
They’re your garden variety swag bag flip-flops, but check it out. There’s totally a promotional code printed on them and you can enter it into a website during the finale for like a Bo Bice CD I think. So save these.
Every Armageddon has its Deep Impact and every Yeezy has its Atmospheezy. It's not the same thing. It's not. Look. The Pheezy has an extra insole so when you’re done hooping it up, you can Tokyo Drift to the lab for a rhyme sesh with dry feet. Also, this one has Power Laces. From the Future. Part II.
Coldplay are wonderful philanthropists and known for their altruism almost as much as their jogging music. And just when you think they’re about to stop championing causes and giving away their music, they drop this on us. The Coldpleezy Totally Freezy is, yep, totally free. And when you go to the store to literally take a pair for nothing, they still donate $25 to a charity of your choosing, give you a CD-R of their unreleased new album, and the keys to their studio. Waterproof.
This is a totally legit, sexypants heel. But there’s a 4-inch retractable blade in the toe for kicking enemies or frenemies. Wear it to fancy dinner and dance like no one’s watching. Then kick Derrick's tires! He cheated on you.