Tsukiji Means Mutant Fish

In January of 2005, my brother Chris and I went to Japan to meet some distant relatives, buy some cute toys, and eat the rawest, freshest fish to ever swim this blue planet. On one of our last days there - with no money, sleep or deodorant - we took a trip to Tsukiji, the world's largest wholesale fish market. The legend is true; It is Burning Man for fishermen, but it happens every day and the shit you think you're seeing is actually real. I'm talking 400 lb. tuna. I'm talking 2-foot long crab legs. This is where all Tokyo restaurants get their fish and the market will sell as much as 2,800 tons of fish in a single day. 

Everyone said if you go to Tsukiji, you have to go when shit is nuts, which is early. Like, so early the sun is still hungover. We decided to spend the night in a Tokyo Denny's to ensure that we'd get there early enough. 

That was me using my hand as a size reference. Then we followed one fish that got sold at auction and watched it get sliced apart by samurai. With swords.
 
A couple months after I shot this footage, I found out Tsukiji changed their visitor policy, and essentially banned foreigners from entering the premises. Forget about even shooting video. I think we pissed those samurai off by getting up in their bizznass.