"Yo, Diary" By Keanu Reeves

1984

Yo Diary. It's me Keanu. I had such a weird day today. My job was to hang out with teddy bears and interview them with their friends. I was feeing pretty bad because none of them would talk to me. 

I was thinking: This is it, Keanu. I suck. I am failing this job. But my boss came up to me afterwards and was like, "Keanu, you're a natural. You're so funny and charming." And I was like, "But sir, none of the bears would talk to me." He just laughed. 

I love you.

Keanu Charles Reeves

1985

Yo Diary. I think I'm a cyclist now. I spent two days riding a bike with these other bike guys and drinking Cokes. I also spent a lot of time with this other guy who said he's supposed to be my dad. And I'm like, "Whoa. You are my dad." 

I was never good at riding bikes but I almost won that race! Weird. Isn't my dad the best? 

I love you.

Keanu Charles Reeves

1987

Yo Diary. How weird are Corn Flakes?

I got this day long job where all I had to do was set up boxes of Corn Flakes on these long tables. It must've been for some breakfast banquet for fancy children. I finished setting up the tables and my boss was like, "Ok, now eat a bowl of Corn Flakes." I was so confused, Diary! I was like, "But sir, I'm not really a fancy child." 

I love you.

Keanu Charles Reeves

1987

Yo Diary. It's me. Keanu. Definitely a strange day. I got a day job at MTV telling a story. My boss said, "Keanu, this promo is meant to be irreverent so you basically need to act like you're high." And I started laughing. "But sir. I am high." 

Damn, Diary. It was so easy. I just told a story about something that happened to me that week. Just from memory. I think it really impressed them. I think I might give acting a try. 

I love you.

Keanu Charles Reeves